The Problem with Scammers

Written by Benjamin Liles

I always think the truth is best in all situations. Even if it's my fault allowing something so terrible to happen to me. 

My marriage has always been in trouble. Some of it was me. Part of it is my ex-wife, too. She can say she's been innocent all day long. But with everything between all my research into how and why I got scammed and why men cheat on their wives...

 

Okay, my story: being objective on all things, too. For a time in my marriage things were actually happy between her and I. We would do things together, we did have the occasional argument and all, but overall we got along relatively well. We tried having children. She miscarried. We both cried over that. Things got rougher. We had a verbal fight the night her long-time cat passed away. That by itself upset me for her. Still I went out of my way to stay loyal and faithful.

Why does anyone cheat?

Because either partner/spouse is not meeting a need to their other. It isn't always about sex. But about "connecting." When a spouse makes you feel so less and not really heard or listened to it robs you of your voice, who you are. In my case, it was multiple issues: emotional dissatisfaction, lack of communication (she claims she can't talk to me much, but when I try talking to her it's suddenly "my issue," especially being told: "I won't listen to you as you won't listen to me." Find, I won't talk; unresolved issues or trauma - years of pent up frustrations that I keep wanting to talk about, but getting shut down, being told, "Deal with it, you're a man." 

Notice the things missing? Sex wasn't an issue, desire for excitement or novelty? Not even there. Opportunity? Please. I go to help my mom with yard work, going to the library or grocery store to get the things we needed; revenge or retaliation? It never crossed my mind.

For me it was innocent enough: I just wanted someone to talk to, a friend. That's how my scammer got to me.

And boy was it enough. After about a month, "she" started love-bombing me, a classic romance scam. Telling me she lost her job due to a malevolent male boss. Asked me for $70. The amount dropped relatively quickly for a while. Then she had the grand idea: "I'm good at selling antiques," so I saved up $240 and "lent" it, but not very willingly. Over time "she" gained my trust, asking me for bits and pieces of information about myself. It was around maybe October 2023 I got the first IRS letter about having filed for 2022. I never filed it. They interceded on my behalf and kept me from trouble. A few more months passed by, with me eventually sending $4,000 overall, in total.

It was the end of December, right as January hit my scammer admitted, "I filed a refund on you, and yes, it was falsified." Stupid mistake on "her" part. I pretty much thought things over a long time, realizing my mistake. And boy it is a tremendous mistake on my part. Banks have been involved. Loans taken out. Things maxed out, but not on credit cards, I don't have one. I'm on disability, so my ex-wife is now over that.

All of that to say this - I finally did file paperwork with the IRS letting them know I didn't file a 2023 return at all. It wasn't me one bit. I admitted I gave my information, but provided them with all the relative information I had. My scammer tried hitting me up one final time for $1,000 but I informed "that person:" "I've alerted the authorities both here where I live, where you say you live, and have told the IRS everything," I haven't heard a peep since then. Fine by me. Good enough! I hate scammers with a passion. They have such little regard for the well-being of others. They may as well be in the vein of Bernie Madoff, or the others like him featured on American Greed.

My advice is this - be you, be safe. Don't give anyone but your closest relatives your information. I mean no one should have your bank information, how much you make, where you live, people you know or their addresses. Mine not got that far, so I'm really safe and blessed in that regard. But where it concerns loans I took out - I'm in a very bad, real situation that can land me in a lot of trouble. What happens is what happens. Lesson learned, too. So, being a content creator for me right now is on hold. Yes, I have a few videos up on YouTube. I cut off TikTok and may do the same with Instagram, too. I rarely use X, twitter at all or LinkedIn for that matter. Facebook I use for my family and friends and I still bock scammers regardless. It won't happen anymore or ever again. So folks, be safe, protect yourselves and don't neglect your families or your responsibilities... Peace!