How to Listen so People will Talk (Book Review)

By Benjamin Liles

          In this world, we need to learn to listen to people more than we talk. The importance of this is so that not only do relationships flourish, but also that others feel heard and in some way are validated. Becky Harling does a phenomenal job with her book How to Listen so People will Talk. In her thirty some odd years as a certified speaker and coach, she has learned how to draw people out so they feel comfortable enough to talk. 

          It seems in our daily lives we impact others in how we relate. Do we do it in the fashion of having an empathic ear? We can either draw people close with the love of God, or we can push them away with how we communicate. And yet communicating isn't simply talking a great deal. "The intelligent person restrains his words, and one who keeps a cool head is a man of understanding" (Proverbs 17:27, Holman Christian Standard).

            When I received this book from Bethany House for my honest feedback, I didn’t know what to think of Becky Harling’s book. Yet, she has a depth of understanding and shows how we can get ourselves to be more like Jesus, not only in how we listen but how we use our exchanges and body language to one another. She uses the Bible in a way that shows and proves that listening well is far better than talking. “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19, New American Standard).

          Becky gives a ton of examples of how we can put into practice God’s word so we can listen better to those who are in our lives as well as be better in God’s kingdom in helping our spiritual brothers and sisters.